Understanding Trauma: How the Past Lives in Us and How Therapy Can Help
What Is Trauma, Really?
Trauma isn’t always about one single event—it can be the ongoing emotional residue left from years of stress, neglect, or pain. Whether it’s a chaotic home life, cultural pressures, or inherited emotional wounds, trauma can silently shape how we think, feel, and relate to others.
At Blooming Days Therapy in Virginia, we specialize in helping people understand and heal from all forms of trauma—especially those that are deeply rooted in childhood, passed down through generations, or influenced by cultural identity. Through online trauma therapy, you can explore these layers safely and at your own pace.
Childhood Trauma: When Growing Up Doesn’t Feel Safe
For many people, trauma begins in childhood. This could include emotional neglect, physical abuse, or growing up in a home where affection was rarely shown and emotions weren’t talked about. Children internalize these experiences as lessons about who they are and what they deserve.
You may have heard phrases like:
“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
“What happens in this house, stays in this house.”
“We don’t talk about that.”
These aren't just strict parenting tactics. Over time, they become emotional roadblocks—early scripts that teach children to suppress emotions, mistrust their intuition, or feel unworthy of love.
As adults, many of us still carry those wounds. We might people-please, overachieve, or avoid conflict at all costs—not realizing these are survival strategies we learned as kids.
Generational Trauma: The Pain We Inherit
Generational trauma—also called intergenerational or ancestral trauma—is the emotional residue passed down from one generation to the next. You don’t need to have directly experienced war, poverty, or displacement to carry the emotional consequences of those events.
Consider this: Many Boomers (born ~1946–1964) grew up post-war in households that valued hard work, stoicism, and survival. They were often taught not to talk about feelings and to “tough it out.” As they raised their children—Gen X(born ~1965–1980)—many of these emotional patterns continued.
Gen X kids, known as the “latchkey generation,” often returned to empty homes after school while both parents worked. They were praised for independence but often lacked emotional attunement and safe spaces to process their feelings.
So what happens when Gen X becomes parents to Millennials and Gen Z? We see a unique mix: more openness to emotions, but also more confusion, anxiety, and unresolved pain.
Generational trauma looks like:
Repeating unhealthy relationship dynamics
Difficulty expressing emotions
Feeling unsafe even in safe environments
Holding beliefs like “I’m not enough” or “I have to earn love”
Cultural Trauma: Navigating Identity and Expectation
For many of us—especially those from immigrant, BIPOC, or religious backgrounds—cultural trauma adds another layer.
Imagine being told:
“We don’t do therapy in our culture.”
“Mental health is for weak people.”
“Your success is your family’s success.”
These messages can be both spoken and unspoken. Cultural trauma can make you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself—your sexuality, your emotions, your burnout, or your desire to live differently than your parents expected.
It can be incredibly isolating to straddle two worlds: the culture you were raised in and the one you're trying to thrive in now. This tension often leads to guilt, shame, or identity confusion.
At Blooming Days Therapy, we hold space for your whole identity—including your cultural background—and help you process how it’s shaped your mental health.
Pros and Cons: What We’ve Inherited From Boomers and Gen X
Pros:
Resilience and survival: Boomers and Gen X knew how to push through. Many of us inherited their work ethic and persistence.
Independence: Being left to figure things out made many Millennials and Gen Z resourceful and self-reliant.
Family loyalty: Despite the pain, many of us still value family and tradition deeply.
Cons:
Emotional suppression: We may struggle to name or validate our feelings.
Disconnection: We may feel distant from our parents, unsure how to talk to them about what really matters.
Perfectionism and burnout: With high expectations and little emotional support, many of us feel exhausted by constantly trying to be “good enough.”
So What Can You Do? Start With Online Therapy in Virginia and Maryland
One of the most powerful steps you can take is working with a therapist who understands trauma not just as a clinical diagnosis, but as a lived, layered experience shaped by your family, culture, and history.
At Blooming Days Therapy, we offer trauma-informed online therapy for residents of Virginia and beyond, that:
Helps you explore your childhood experiences without shame
Unpacks generational patterns so you can stop repeating them
Honors your cultural identity while giving you permission to evolve
Teaches tools for self-compassion, boundaries, and emotional expression
And because it’s online, therapy can fit into your life—whether you’re in your car during lunch, at home between meetings, or living far from traditional therapy offices.
You Deserve to Heal—Not Just Cope
It’s not about blaming your parents or rejecting your culture. It’s about making sense of your story so that you can write a new one.
Healing from trauma doesn’t mean forgetting the past. It means feeling safe in the present and hopeful for the future. It means no longer shrinking yourself to survive but growing into who you were meant to be.
You are not broken. You are shaped—and with support, you can reshape your future.
Ready to Begin?
If this resonates with you, we invite you to connect with a trauma-informed therapist at Blooming Days Therapy, serving clients across Virginia and Maryland. We offer free 15-minute consultations to help you explore whether we’re the right fit.
Let’s untangle the past, so you can reclaim your present.
